New Beginnings

Ok so my aunt & uncle are moving out and leaving the crib in my hands which is a blessing and 3/4 (fuck a half). Thing is, it would benefit me more if I had a roommate but nobody is biting on the offer. Rent is cheap and the place isn't bad but I don't know what to do. Should I grind it out and keep it for myself till I get a new roommate or should I jus say FUCK the whole roommate thing and jus keep the 2br to myself??? I don't knowww! That would cut down on my traveling but then if have my own crib which takes alot of stress off my back. Hmmm decisions, decisions...
~~~~~~On another note there's this dude that I don't rlly fuck wit at work cuz he thinks I'm pokin his ex girl, (which I'm not) who's sellin his car for DIRT cheap. I know there's something wrong with it but I don't think it's substantial enough not to pass up on tha deal. I'm thinkin abt gettin that and saving up to get the shit fixed and that would complete my cyph wit needing my own place and a whip. Like he mad bitchy, he'll talk to me when he wants and then he has his days...I could fly care less abt his menstrual cycle but I need a whip and that's lookin real good at the moment. I got some MAJOR decisions to make and then on top of that I got classes speedily approaching but hopefully financial will take care of that if pops comes thru in clutch, which he prolly won't cuz he usually doesn't. *sigh*, bbl @ work...dueces

~~~christhecandle~~

You Can Find Me in the "A"!!!

Waaats goood everybody??? Yall miss me??? Yo I don't even remember tha last time I blessed yall wit a dosage of my life but I'm sure it's overdue. Ummm let's see my great G-ma died and I went down to the funeral in Blakely, GA but chilled in the "A" for a lil. It was bittersweet cuz of the death but my fam showed me MASSIVE amounts of luv. Got scooped from the airport by my cuz and then we hit the lq store before we went to the house where they were havin food. Oh, not too mention it's a 3hr ride from ATL to blakely AND on top of it being in the boonies the only service they have down there is verizon and I was SOL for service the whooole weekend like no bullshit.
~~~~~~So I met mad fam, ppl who I obviously don't remember and everytime I saw someboy, this came out they mouth "Oooh my God, is this Tyler?!?! I haven't seen u since u were yay tall" and I'm sittin there grinnin and shit like "Yeah, like I know". I hate that shit, like everytime i see fam I hear the same shit, makes me feel bad but who has the time or funds to come down there often but since Momma Gladys died somebody gonna have to take over wit the fam get togethers now so maybe things'll change and I'll come down more often. Like the first weekend in October I'm goin down to see my cuzin who lives in Atlanta who I haven't seen in maaad long. On my way to the airport she was like if I call out, u should miss ya flight and leave early Monday...so I said aight fuck it lol. So I stayed, we chilled watched the VMA's and jus hungout. We talked abt moving in together cuz we both wanna move to Brooklyn but I don't kno how serious she is abt it but we'll see
wat happens. I always try and keep a optimistic outlook on things jus in case. Hence me not giving up on 3:33...
~~~~~~Yooo so lemme finish tellin u abt how smashed I got when I went down there. So I come out the whip wit the bicardi peach red in hand (I can drink that shit straight wit no chase, shit is like that lol) so I'm drinkin that and I'm chillin talkin wit the fam and smokin a mild which they smoke like loosies out there. I musta had like 7 on the day no lie (I know it's bad u don't have to tell me Meezy lol). Then I drank some other shit that the fam was givin me and i didn't eat that much cuz the food was takin mad long and we were contemplating whether or not jus to dipp and get something on our own or wait it out. So when I got there I had some collard greens and like 1 piece of chicken lol. After that we left and I had some other shit that like 30% alcohol in it and I'm still smokin mind you and I'm feeelin it like HOV in Reasonable Doubt...like I'm feelin good lol. We ended up goin to this lil bar or club, I couldn't even tell u yo but I got my assed
whooped in pool by my younger cuzin and ended up urlin in the back of the joint. Good thing I was dolo cuz that woulda been HELLA embarrassing. Me bein from up north and all we do is get fucked up and lil cuz shows me up...THAT'S CRAZY!!! And that was the first day I got down there.
~~~~~~Second day was the funeral and this big dinner at the county high school cuz my Gma was a G and evrybody knew her so mad ppl came out and showed love. We had police blockin off streets and shit but even tho it's a small county it meant alot to me to know ppl loved and respected her like that. So once that was over we ate and went back to change and there's nothing to do down there but get fucked up and that's EXACTLY whatcha boy did lol. Niggas went to the store and copted down on the Patron Orange and Neuvo (or however u spell it) and got right for the night. We watched the Georgia bulldog game and I felt mad at home, niggas I didn't know was passin me blunts and askin me why my cup was empty lol. Shit was jus mad fun and that was at like 3 maybe 4 something!!!
~~~~~~Later on that night we went to this place called "The Store" it's this hole in the wall ass club where niggas go to party. The shit was PACKED but niggas was lookin a mess, bitches was lookin a mess...jus alot of ppl were lookin a mess lol. This 1 chick had on...yo if I told u wat ol' girl had on u STILL couldn't picture it or believe me. This 1 nigga has on jeans and an under armour shirt like the nigga had jus left football practice, me and my cuzin from the A was dyin and said we gotta come back and do a documentary so ppl can believe wat we was talkin abt cuz she said her friends don't believe her and I know my up north ppl would think I was bssin. So I'm def bringin the camcorder down there when I go for some much needed footage. All in all it was a good trip, had fun and can't wait to go back. I'm at work now and I still gotta blog abt my trip to DC that jus passed this weekend. I'm gettin my traveling up ya digg!!! May be small trips but
it's 1 of my new years resolutions and it's actually the only 1 I'm KINDA stickin too lol...but till later on yall I'm abt to actually do my work

~~~christhecandle~~~

The Female Way 101

I was recently had my insight on females enlightened because maybe im just too trusting or just naive to some of the shit that females do. My big bruh at worked informed me on females cuz i thought i knew females and tried to give yall the benefit of the doubt but maybe yall dont deserve it. Like I was chillin wit my ex and we ARE NOT together but ya know we still been tryna do this thing where can at least be friends and not argue all the time but whateva...so i left my phone in her car and the shit was dead. This broad goes and buys a charger and charges my joint and goes thru my emails and texts and proceeds to forward some of the emails [of a lil stash i keep ;-)] have to her email. Now before i go on...soon as i realized wat was goin on i INSTANTLY got mad cuz thats an obvious invasion of privacy and like wtf, ya know??? but i learned that those actions were jus in a females nature to go thru ya shit. But my question is fuckin why??? Like why the fuck would u do that and then get mad at ME of all ppl...like youve gotta be fuckin kidding me right??? But he told me that thats a females way bcuz its already embedded in the cerebral to do things that us men dont understand. Like some dudes would go thru the joint but i wouldnt for the simple fact is "what you dont know doesnt hurt you", like if you on ya shit (like most females are) guys wont find out cuz majority of my species are stupid and are easily fooled. Now you might say well, that makes no sense cuz i might end up lookin like a fool anyway...but thats jus the way i choose to attack life.

~~~~~~Anyway, shes not talkin to me now but after all this and all the arguments im tired of goin thru this shit wit somebody im not even with. Like you dont want me but i cant talk to whoever i want? Like in what world does that work out in??? So i gotta let go and let go 4real this time. Like i would let go and not entertain it cuz i thought that was the right thing to do. Like I love 3:33 more than anything in this world and eventually i want a family and all that but at this point and time it jus doesnt seem accomplishable (if thats a word). Its jus hard to not to have that friendship that we share, cuz she is my BEST friend. as much as we hate each other she would be the first person id come to when i need advice or jus wanna talk. I jus dont like all the added shit that accompanies the friendship (i.e. feelings, jealousy, and lack of trust). Like the shit gonna be hard as fuck but I think thats the only thing i can do to salvage ANYTHING that might be left. She wants to do the counseling thing but i dont know about that, like i dunno if thats something i wanna do. I think thats why i been bullshittin about lookin for a counselor or whateva you call it. I think that shit is jus gonna work when we in counseling and NOTHING is gonna help for when we leave those doors. I jus want shit to be left in the past cuz that would progress us so much right there but shes like she has all these pent up feelings about shit thats happened and doesnt know what to do wit em...UMMMMM let em go nigga!!! like wtf, you want us to be something, why the fuck would you hold onto some shit that hurts. But there you go again thinkin like a male and not seeing it from a females POV (hmmm that jus might be my label for this post). Yall dont let go of shit, even if you forgive...yall NEVER forget. Christian is always gonna get that shit thrown at him no matter how long ago it was or wat the situation is. 1 other thing i figured out about females *LISTEN UP FELLAS* maybe yall know this already but females are NOT to be understood...you NEVER will, no matter how much of a G you think you are, you will never understand the female way, young grasshopper (thats the 1st step to understanding females...think about it)

~~~~~~So right now im jus gonna focus on me and gettin my shit together cuz fall is coming up and i know i gotta take chem & bio with the lab that comes wit those 2 classes. I should be able to take the classes and labs without it running into my travel to get to work. Yo my shift is the worst, like i can never go out, its fuckin up school, its jus fuckin up shit period lol. Imma see if i can switch this whack ass 3-11 shift. Speakin of which if Ree dont get his ass downstairs now, im gonna be late as fuck for work...speak of the devil, he walks in. Im out for work ppl!!!

~~~christhecandle~~~

Back Again...

Yea, i been gone for a minute but now im fuckin back wit no fuckin remorse and no care towards the world or its inhabitants. 1st, lemme start off by saying i was gone for mad long cuz i lost my iPhone at Club Havana uptown AT my bday party mind you and was without a phone for hella long. So i finally got another bumass phone and had to deal with that shit till a co-worker of mine told me he found an iPhone and let me get the joint. Speakin of which, i gotta talk about work for a lil bit...

~~~~~~So i ask my supervisor for a schedule cuz a nigga has alternating off days (but the bitch wanna say my schedule is set...last time i checked "set" means non-changing and ALTERNATING days off is obviously a change) and i dont want it to be left of to my own short term memory (esp as much as i smoke [which i put a stop to cuz im back in the gym now, ill come back to this later tho], lol) to figure out what days im off and on. I ask 3 times and this bitch tells me no she doesnt give out schedules...i didnt ask ya fat ass if you gave out schedules!!! I asked for 1 so yall niggas wouldnt be callin me into work when i thought i was off. So on the 3rd time Shamu finally gives me a schedule but by then im already in trouble for not knowing my days. But couldnt we have prevented that if you woulda gave me a schedule when i 1st asked for it???...yea like i thought. FUCK HER! anyway, im tryna figure out what else has happened at the job that i can inform you guys on. Ummm oh yea, so me and the big bruh was watchin patients in the "Nutty Wing" as i like to call it and we had like 6 of em back there. I went on my break and asked if he was good...the nigga a G so of course he got it. GRANTED i shoulda called and let somebody know i was goin on break so they could send another sitter to relieve me but whatever...Why the fuck when i come back 1 of the nuttys dipped on the nigga, i mean straight hit him wit a playground move and took flight out the hospital. So the charge nurse is tryna get our asses handed to the nursing super cuz we had a lil altercation with her earlier...lss she thinks she can talk to ppl any and every way cuz shes the charge nurse every fortnight and shit. She was told we not fuckin kids and she needs to talk to ppl wit more respect (this was the day prior). So patient dipps, we get reported and gotta write up everything that happened...nothing happened tho cuz the patient was brought back and on top of that patients dipp all the time and dont shit ever happen but whateva. Thats enought work droppin for now.

~~~~~~Now let me tell you about how cuz i didnt have my phone that i missed out on mad casting calls and mad shoots in the month of August but whatever. If yall dont know im tryna get this acting/modeling thing runnin. I was an extra in the Common & Queen Latifah movie "Just Wright", shit was mad fun. Met mad fun and networked with mad ppl, it was a 3-day shoot and mad celebs were there like Dwayne Wade, Dwight Howard, Rashard Lewis, Bobby Collins (all bball players cuz Common is a bball player for the NJ Nets). Other ppl made cameos like Kanye West, his girl Amber Rose, Estelle, John Legend and ummmm oh that nigga from True Blood, like the only black dude in the show...Mechad Brooks (think thats how you spell it) but yea anyway, that shit was hella fun but since i didnt have a phone i couldnt take no pics of anybody or anything nor could i get on twitter or anything to post pics (kinda sound like a fanatic wit the social networks right??? lol) But yea from there i got in contact wit some other ppl about shoots coming up so im tryna get my shit together for that. Yo, wats fuckin wit this fat dude got a line in a movie saying 3 words and got $790 and a contract to be in the Screen Actors Guild (SAG)...you wanna talk about tight, i wanted to fight ol boy for that fuckin close up lmao!

~~~~~~Im sittin here in the manor and i got alot of shit on my mind and im gonna do a WHOLE seperate entry for this cuz its hard to say but things have to change and the way things are goin its not gonna be lookin good for niether 1 of us. Ummm, excited about spring break comin up...niggas FINALLY chose a location on where to go...JAMAICA!!! Niggas had a thread on fb for 2 months and decided on a location jus like 3 days ago, smh. I cant stand bullshittin as ppl, esp niggas...like thats not in our framework. We see, we like, we go get...its the same in all aspects (except shoppin, cuz i shop like im girl when im out but sfw="so fuckin wat", GFY="go fuck yourself" if you dont like it, jus dont come to the mall wit me then), but niggas had to go thru comical antics and a whole bunch of other shit before deciding on a place. PHILLY PHILLY!!! This weekend another spot that i can jus get away from everything is comin up this weekend, my niggas are moving back into their respected living spaces and shit will be poppin this weekend (def gotta hit the gym hard this week cuz there will be alot of drinkin & smokin this weekend!!! ill be able to see alot of faces that are LONG overdue for being seen and overall this should jus be fun cuz i need this mentally right now more than anything. *rubbing my neck* this facial hair is a BITCH!!! I need a cut bad as hell, i cant wait till i hit the shop to get this shit cut off...i might jus buy my own set of clippers jus to get the shit when i cant get to a shop real talk. So i have this idea to get another 16g iPhone but im not sure if i should jus keep this 1 for a bit longer cuz its functioning the same so i figure why not right??? then i can use that money i saved on gettin my fuckin Dell fixed and i can finally start downloadin music again and my sanity could be everlasting cuz i could escape from this hellhole we call life filled with disappointment, shitty friends, WHACK bitches/niggas, and minute (NOT minute, like in time, but minute as in small) satisfaction/happiness.

~~~~~~Anything i have forgotten, ill prolly post later on throughout the night or the next day cuz i have HELLA venting to do

~~~christhecandle~~~

Sunday Double

Yeah i know it's been mad long since I splashed yall wit something, but I don't think ppl be reading so wat diff do it make if I vent or not. I know wat happened and I'm good lol...anyway it's 1:08 and I'm at the job pulling this not wanted but much needed double (the deal I got for it was CRAZY). $20, a dub, and not to mention the money I get for working and it bein OT. I didn't wanna do it at first cuz I had plans but there was no guarantee the night was going to end how I wanted so I said why not. Yo, I don't wanna say I hate but coming to work now is getting tedious...it's the same thing day in day out. I try to mix it up by learning different things or jus anything I can actually lol. It's been a year of the same shit, it's time to make moves so I won't be like alot of the niggas here at the job who's 30+ pushin and content wit the joint. Helllll no, fuck I look like??? Cakin in the limelight is where I'm destined and if it's not I'm gonna be cakin
on some subtle shit (keep in mind the "cakin" part will be the same lol). Lmao, yooo I kill myself sometimes...but real talk if u don't set ya goals high you'll be on some just gettin by shit and that's not the life I live.
~~~~~~But enough candlelighting for now, how's everybodys summer goin??? My shit is progressing very nicely I must say...the year started off rough as Hell, as you'd know if u were tuned in, but it's but I'm having fun. Still tryna plan this road trip before the summer ends...this shit gonna be HELLA fun if it go down. I'm bout to start makin the financial moves NOW, so the end of the summer is a blast lol.
~~~~~~Ummm the weekend was chill, don't remember what I did Friday but was prolly fun, Saturday worked early morning shift and went to a BBQ wit my ppls from work...matta fact I hit the city on Friday, I jus remembered. That shit was ehhh but def coulda been poppin. That BBQ was cool, but the aftermath was ass. I fucked wit my co-worker at the joint and then went back to her crib, nothing happened but shit was weird a lil bit. I wouldve wanted to go to the city wit the fellas but the bread wasn't fully baked and I didn't wanna be in the city till it was a full loaf if u digg me...all in all it was a alright night. We had some laughs but I'm still waitin for her to open up cuz she be on some shy/quiet shit. Due time will break that wall tho...
~~~~~~I rlly fuck wit Twitter now, shit is fun as Hell. Like i said i didn't fuck wit it but I got on and the shit is fun, once u get past the part about it being constant status updates u might like it. It's some funny shit up there and Rev Run always got inspirational words on the day is always useful in some way.
~~~~~~Yo it's 3:01 on the dot and there's this patient who jus screaming at the top of her lungs. Like I don't know what her problem is but she is jus blowin like she's in the most horrific pain, but as soon as u go in there she quits...I'm like u gotta be shittin me yo, I can't get wit this shit for the whole night. My eyes are friggin drifting crazy low and as soon as she starts yelling, my shits pop open like they inejected red bull into my veins. Shit sucks...smh. I'm sitting here budgeting my acct on CapitalOne (yes, I fuk wit the no hassle rewards lol...if u don't GFY) and I noticed I spent MAD gaupington this week, like I spent it well but I forgot that my bday was coming up and I'm tryna fuck wit Jersey Girls for that day *sb* JERSEY GIRLS WILL BE POPPIN OFF ALLLLL CRAZY ON AUGUST 9th (which is a sunday, I advise u all to tell ya place of employment ur gonna be late if u hav to be there early in the morning cuz I might fuck wit the city after)
IF I FUCK WIT YOU AND THERES NO DOUBT ABOUT IT I WANT YOU AT MY TABLE BRINGING IN MY BIRTH WIT ME AND (here comes the ignorant shit) GET REAL UP CLOSE & PERSONAL WITH SOME STRIPPERS! More over, I'm excited cuz this is 1 of the few times I'm actually doing something for my bday and it being my first time at a strip club. So u know I'm extra hyped for the venue but back to our regularly scheduled blogfeed.

I'm bout to take my first break of the shift so I'll prolly go get some food or just smooth for a lil bit, hit yall back later...

~~~christhecandle~~~

The Manor

~~~~~~At the manor chillin wit Taz watchin fuckin Showgirls. The day went by and was hectic as shit. Nigga Kenny dont know WTF he be doin on the fuckin dispatch yo, had niggas ping-pongin to Hell. Late as shit hungry as fuck and nothing is open and even if there was we wouldnt be able to get there ANYway cuz his parents dipped and didnt leave NO keys for niggas to get food lol. This weekend is the Jersey NUPE BBQ shit should def be on and poppin...(yooo im fuckin hungry as Hell and theres no fuckin food!!! OMG!!!) I love comin to this nigga crib, its like a fallout shelter for life lol, niggas get here and jus forget about the whole fuckin world cuz you jus coolin. Listening to music, watchin movies, eatin food (even though theres none today lol), playin games or whateva. 

~~~~~~Can i ask yall a question and I rlly wanna hear some TRUE shit back wit no bullshit attached. For the 1's that know me...what about me do yall find attractive and what about me is annoying or unattractive in your eyes. Ive been thinkin about current events and I wanna know what ppl's thoughts are about me. Everyone has their own perceptions about themselves and im sure more than enough ppl want to know wat others think about them. I, for 1 am not gonna change shit. Either you gonna fuck wit me or u not, im jus curious about how im portrayed in others eyes. Hit me on fb or on twitter.com/christianellis8...be honest and be 100% before anything.

~~~~~~Not rlly in the talkin mood so ill prolly hit yall wit something tomorrow, matta fact ill let u know if I get food for the night or not lmao

~~~christhecandle~~~

Friday Morning

Wats goodie?! Sooo I wake up and the first thing I see is friggin MJ's body being ready to be worked on by the coroner. Shit hits me again like dammm yo the nigga rlly died...Yea, yesterday June 25th, Michael Jackson died at the ucla hospital in LA. Farrah faucet (if that's how you spell it) died yesterday morning too...shit was just too surreal.
~~~~~~I spent most of the day in the crib. There was a friggin NCIS marathon on and I almost pissed myself from the excitement, tru story. I was gonna order in and just chill but it was nice as shit and I wanted to hit the city but as usual I got faded and just stayed in. It turned out being aight anyway, my aunt cooked, watched the NBA draft wit unc and then went out dumb late wit Nesto to burn 1 and chill.
~~~~~~I put up a status that I had on my mind about why girls don't believe that guys can just wanna chill without the intentions of trying to have sex wit them and I def worded it wrong and got back a whole bunch of confusing feedback. I didn't know it was like that until somebody brought it to my attention yesterday lol. I wanna repost it but I think niggas'll think that I'm being stupid and annoying...even tho I'm genuinely curious about wat ppl (mostly females) think about that. Like I don't kno wat ppl think about me but yea I like sex and shit but I'm not no hound dog or nuttin like that. Sometimes I just like female companionship, I just like layin up on a female and just chillin watchin a movie or something...yeah I know what movies normally lead to but sometimes I'd rlly just like to chill out. Is that weird??? That's not weird right??? Fuck u if u think so lol...
~~~~~~biiiig plans 4th of July weekend, I can't wait...in DUMB excited!!! Gotta make a couple of calls and get some prices in order but I can friggin wait...*doin my head bop dance*
This summer is gearing up to be just line I planned with a couple of minor setbacks but that's not hindering me for long. Seeing my otgf, chillin wit the fellas, and gettin SMASHED...omg I can't wait lol. I wanna catch at least 1 of the subway series games at the mets stadium this year...that should would be poppin. I think ticks are like 40 beans which I think isn't that bad. Gotta check on that too, then I'm gonna see if 3:33 wants to go see coldplay in august, that should be fun if we still even talkin but who knows about that situation at the moment.
~~~~~~I def need to get my stuff together for work and my "slumber party" lol. Not my words but somebody elses. Aight yeah I need to get up cuz next thing I know I'll be dumb late or somebody isn't gonna be happy wit me. Oh yeah, def forgot to mention I finally broke down and copted those "GUCCI!!" that I've wanted for the longest time...a lil tight but I'll bear em just for the hell of it. Ummm tryna figure out if anything else I wanna get out of my head...Tyler, u??? "Nope"...Christian, anything??? "Nah, I'm good"....aight then hit yall later in the day.
Oooooh wait! Cookout poppin off tomorrow, I can't wait cuz i'm def gonna be smashed, plastered, fucked down/up cuz it's my brothers grad BBQ and the fam is gonna be poppin, don't care how late I'll be but imma be in the building!

PS
hit me up if you wanna come thru either on Twitter.com/christianellis8 or facebook!!!

~~~christhecandle~~~